pathetic story on wednesday

yesterday got a dream about him. the one whom i don't want to remember. the one that i removed from my life. still remember the struggles to forget him.

I hate getting flashbacks from things i don't want to remember

don't let your bitter past affect your bright future !
what done let it done. it wouldn't come back again. stop flashback and step forward.

i don't care about my past anymore. it had already buried by me.

fyi: what sucks today: must go to school again for the biology lab and skip my nap ! it sucks to the MAX !

short post on tuesday night

i changed my header and background yesterday. and changed my 'about me' just now. yeah. so many things to be changed. i wanna NEW impression for my blog. maybe tomorrow will change something again :p even i think to change my URL. but it would be so complicated. have to tell everyone to re-link me. needs a really good consideration.

and about today.

everyday is always tiring. i feel i could die in my young age because of exhaustion. but i don't wanna complain or grumble too much about this, because i surely know that someday i'll definitely miss my school life.

school life is like living in a dream world. there's still no burden to be carried. different with when you graduated from school, jump into real world which is cruel. at that time you must think about your future and work from nil to be 'something'. success never instant.

left 8 months. i don't wanna leave my school,friends and everything.

Wed,Thr,Fri & Sat

It was about 9 am on wednesday when i found another side of yours. It was the first time i ever saw you like that. I began to sulk about your unfriendly stare at me. But baby, you did nothing to seduce me. You keep busy reading that stupid old comics. Ya, keep behaving like that honey.

The next day. We still in a fight. And you still behaving like there is nothing happens. You got busy with your football team and left me alone at school. I kept my eyes on the school fence. Wishing you would come back soon from your match. That's your first football match. And i was not there to held up banner of your name and scream your name loudly like i used to do when your basketball match.

But you didn't come during my long wait. Until i decided to go home alone. Without your hand holding my hand crossing the road. Without your kiss and your caress on my hair. I miss when you said I LOVE YOU while waved your hand when i was about go home.

Friday didn't make any difference. When i was in a BIG trouble and need you a lot, you weren't there for me. I saw you laughed with your friends and your face was so shine when i was dying.

Well, you replaced me swept the class as you know i can't do it. Thanks for your help darling but that wasn't what i need. My sister could do it.

Then about saturday. You realized i had swollen eyes when others didn't. You asked me what's wrong with my eyes, acted like you care of me a lot. But you were so arrogant that you didn't even hold my hand. I'm glad we are in a group for the class concert although i knew, it was not your struggle.

You went home earlier than normally. You just asked for leave and say I LOVE YOU then you went so perfectly. Left me alone in the strange class.

In the afternoon you went to be a cool goal-keeper again. I didn't come to give you support. You won the match but i didn't give you a congratulatory as well.

Well darling, thanks for giving me the bad four last days at school, yeah. It's gonna make me miss you so damn much until i couldn't help myself anymore to meet you. What a great job.

Listen to me baby. You gotta realize what you have when i'm still yours. Before you lose everything.

However, i trust you and i could never stop forgiving you.

Love is about forgiving.!

Greet you with a SMILE (:

Today was the last day at school. Holiday starts on 18 until 28 april. Such a quite long enough holiday. Yay.! ♥

To fill the emptiness of holiday. I went to buy nail polish. As you know, my beloved school, Methodist 2 doesn't allow it's students to have nail polish on their nail. So, we can just use nail polish at home when holiday. See the pic below. I dunno exactly what color it is. It's dark blue with little cute glitters. It's AWESOME for me. Hehe

Then, i found a very cute thing while looking around. It's a watch with beautiful bracelet design. It has many colors. But the white one is perfect ♥ My friends, the twin, Tina&Tini helped me choose it. And i love it a lot.

I don't have idea if school would allow us use watch like this. But why don't i try wear it? Haha The action of a rebel student. May not try it at home ;p

Well, about holiday. I don't like to have too long holiday. But school without holiday is terrible. How tiring it would be. But holiday at home, how pathetic as well :/

Moreover, on the last days of school i had a kinda BIG problem. It just left a regret that i don't use time wisely. When the chance is in front of me. I don't take it to do things i should have done. But then i think it ain't mean anything if i did it too. Useless for the person who doesn't care. I just hope time would teach 'that person' about something he should know.

BIG *hug for HOLIDAY (:

Like the seasons, people change

Hey blog, when i'm feeling bad. You're the only place i can share everything in my mind. 

Well, i'm feeling so bad. I've just finished all exams for the last daily test in this even semester. So tired and i've been working so hard. Now is the time for me to take a rest. Tomorrow is the last day of school. I'm gonna have a holiday this monday and maybe for a week. Coz our seniors, the 3rd Senior High School student are going to have their national exam. Good luck for them. I hope all people could pass it well and no one would fail.

Not only physical, but my heart is tired too. I hope this is just a dream. Everything is not like this. But then, i realized it isn't. It really happened to me. Is it true that like the seasons, people change? But i'm wondering why? Is there anyone can tell me why? I can't find the answer. This depresses me a lot. I even dunno what should i do. I woke up in the morning then i thought about how to pass my day well everyday. Keep thinking the way to survive. But it always fail. I can't do anything.

Sigh. sigh and sigh.

I miss everything i've been through. That sweet memories. But memories are just memories. I'm standing alone here. No idea what should i do. I'm just can pray every night for God makes it better.

TIRED

I'm so tired to the MAX!

I'm disappointed, I'm sad, I'm tired, I'm sick of all, I wanna vomit, I wanna shout out loud, I HATE everything in my life.

MY LIFE'S SO DAMN!

All i know is i'm so TIRED. I'm not strong enough to face all and i will never be stronger.

Please!

Please stop all. Please give me a shoulder for me to lean on, shoulder which is the place for me to cry whole night. Please give me strength for standing upright.

I'm so bad now.

Yeah. I'm wondering if i could have a sleep tonight or not. Coz seems tonight will be a very long night. That fear crept into my heart. I'm alone. Crying like stupid alone.

i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED   i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED i'm so TIRED   i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED  i'm so TIRED

H A P P I N E S S

Short post

Hello guys. How's life? I hope all of you have such a good time these days. Like me :)

Well, my life feels great now. It will be so exciting if always like this. Smile and laugh with HIM. All problems suddenly disappear. Really grateful and thanks God that fulfills my prays all this time. Yeah, everything is okay now. Although still have something to think about. It's my goal for now. I believe God will fulfill it no much longer. I just need to be patient and keep waiting until that time comes. He knows all the best for me.

And here, me, I promise myself to do my best to be a better person and a perfect girl for him :)

My life goes back,readers. Holiday has already ended and means that i have to wake up early again,face tiring activities and exams. Need a hardworking :( But the exciting thing from going to school again is i can meet all my lovely buddies and my bf of course. He's the first reason why i enjoy school-ing. ♥.♥

Okay then, i've just had my lunch and i feel kinda sleepy now (like a pig. LOL). Today is wednesday and i don't have course. So, what i'm gonna do is having a short nap.!

See yeaa readers. Thanks for reading :*

I ♥ my life

Different Day, Different Story

Hey there :)

How’s your Saturday night?

Well, my saturday night i spent with making chocolate.

Yesterday i had made half of the chocolate that i bought too. Making chocolate evidently is kinda complicated. It’s not too difficult but i’m just lazy to make something like that. In addition, i have to wash the equipment that i used. So tiring. I doubt that next year i’ll make chocolate by myself anymore. Haha

Not just making chocolate, i had a superb dinner with my family tonight. Other members of Wang Family came to my house and ate sangwo. I ate so much with one hope that i'll gain weight :/ it’s really yummy and i had a great time. I love family gathering ♥

Now, i'm gonna make chocolate. See yaa readers :)

Have a great sat-night.

It's about sat-night

Hai :)

hello :) how's life?

i've new story. last wednesday i got my report book. and i got the 7th rank. well, it's probably the best rank i got during senior high school. i'm in 9th and 11th rank the last time. i'm not too satisfied. coz when junior high school i achieved better than this. i got the 1st rank in the 3rd year of junior high school. but since entered senior high school i'm getting lazy and lazy. moreover since had new boyfriend (him), i don't too care about studying anymore. haha :p it doesn't influential actually. indeed i've been lazy. haha but it's okay. rank isn't important for me. the important is i had all i need. HIM, friends and family :)

2011 now, my new life. many things i should change and reach this year. and i'm grateful that everything's good so far. hope you got a wonderful year too :)

oh ya, i've updated my tumblr. new theme and new song there. check it out readers ;)

click here

thank you :*

another story of mine

2010 ends

as we know today is the last day of 2010. time flies so fast.

well, thanks to 2010 for the precious time i had and for every experience i got in 2010. especially that i had one year together with HIM during the 2010. truly grateful for it :)

so, goodbye 2010 and welcome 2011. hope 2011 would be a great year for me and for everyone. be blessed and happiness is always around us :)

my new year wishes:

- have a lasting long relationship ever ♥

- get my Christmas wish. God hasn't fulfilled it but i believe no longer :)

- be blessed always.

- be a better person.

- have self-control. could control my emotion well.

- could make my parents proud of me. make them happy :')

- still have a sweet friendship with people around me. Omg! i'm so miss my buddies :(

- getting diligent. i was so lazy all this time. haha

- getting smart. 

- have an amazing year.

and because today is the last day. gonna enjoy today with my dearest boyfriend and have a great new year's eve with my beloved families.

have fun too readers :)

welcome 2011 ♥

xoxo

231210♥

yesterday i went to SUN plaza with my cousin and my sister. it has been a long time i don't hang out with them. just the three of us.

it was a happy day :)

i captured many photos and here are some of them. see more in my facebook album:

Sister Time ♥

tonight is Christmas Eve. have you planned about your Christmas Eve party? :)

me ---> gonna have supper in another cousin's house. celebrate Christmas Eve together with them ♥

wish God would fulfill my Christmas wish. Amen.

well, tomorrow i have planned to go to church to celebrate Christmas. but seems that i couldn't. coz my foot is still hurt. no doubt. i use heels for walking around SUN for 4 hours :(

and new year eve is coming too. i still don't have plan about it. but i'll not stay at home.

daddy planned to go to brastagi actually. but i refused it. daddy said we go there on 30 until 2. i don't wanna go. 2 is my special day. i have to spend it with HIM♥. nothing can prevent me. it would be stuck there on that days too. and dad hate traffic jam. so, i suggest dad for not going to Brastagi anymore. just celebrate new year eve dinner with his friends.

success. yeah.! haha

i haven't take a bath anyway. and Harris has nagged me of it. well, i have to take a bath now before he gets angry. he's kinda fierce now. haha

see you readers :)

happy Christmas eve people ♥

my holiday

my Christmas wish

we live in this world with all hypocrisy and problems. nobody lives here with guarantee that his life's easy. we can't always get what we want. all our dreams may not come true. we just can cry and fill a day with tears or keep wishing on a wishing star. maybe it isn't come true today. but there's still have a chance to give a try and say NO for "give up". but the point now, can everyone of us survive with condition like this? is it possible if we don't "give up"?

feeling pain of inability, down for ever lose, tired to give a try, sick of every single thing in life, life seems meaningless at all, you don't have a shoulder to lean on, you don't have place to hide, hopeless, nobody's here with you, you're alone, you have to rely yourself to keep standing, you should not trust anyone without exception.

yeah. this life ain't easy at all.

i can't get a thing i want. whereas others get it easily without need to work hard. i really understand that kind of feeling. let me tell you. it's so hurt. and i believe that none of us here never deal with a problem like that.

it's december. and Christmas is coming. God, if you keeps your eyes on me all this time. i have no doubt you totally know and understand what i'm dealing with exactly. i fight with myself inside my heart. this war has begun since i got that news. you know i'm not able to face this. i'm the weakest and i confess i'm a loser.

for this Christmas, i wish You would fulfill my prays. gives me "that". what i want for this Christmas is just it. i must get it. not only for my satisfaction. but this kinda important for my life, for my future. i don't expect more. just it. i beg You. i'm gonna think a way to clear this up. coz i've been too messy now. i spent my days keep thinking about it. this makes me depressed. really. i can't stand if have to be like this much longer.

Christmas wish

short farewell

i'm going to have my semester exam on monday. the exam lasted for a week. this weekend is my last time to relax. even from today i have to study for preparing the exam.

start from tomorrow noon, i'm gonna off from all my online activities. tumblr-ing, blog-ing, facebook-ing and all things i usually do. i have to focusing myself. mommy would not allow me to plays laptop too. no need to ask her anymore. i've got the answer by myself.

so perhaps this is my last post for this week and next week at once. i'm gonna miss you readers :(

wish i could pass the exam well and got satisfying result. amen. help me by pray yeah. thanks :)

after exam finished is already holiday. there are two mix feeling in my heart. i'm glad cz will not get stress of busy school activities and christmas is coming. it's my happy time. i always rejoices when it comes and brings along peace, happiness and new spirit for me. i just can't wait the warm christmas eve. dear santa, please visit my house although my house doesn't has chimney XD hohoho ♫♫♫

after christmas. we'll have new year. wohooooo. so wait new year comes. wait my first year anniversary exactly. 2 january. waiting ♥

but in the other hand i'm sad can't meet all my friends for approximately one month. can't laughing together, playing jokes and making crazy for temporarily time. i'll miss my class surely. badly.

well, i hate to say this. we're going to have short farewell. goodbye readers. see ya next two weeks. love you :* BIG~HUG ♥

tumblr's post = click here to view

my last post :')

great day =D

today was so pleasant. i had a great day with valens, grace, willy, augusto, jeremia, nathan, jeff and ryan. unfortunately joyanti was not here with us. she was in SG until Sunday. okay, enjoy your trip and have fun there too, sista ♥

we had our lunch at pizza hut. ate a lot of foods till our stomach feel like would explode. the dessert, salad was the craziest one. It’s like a mount. LOL. we took so much and the mayonnaise really made us full. but it was totally a wonderful day :)

see the 1st pic below?

guess what? those are valens and willy. they were in ladies toilet at our school-Methodist II. BIG LOL. we drove them into the toilet and i captured them. how evil. haha laugh*

this will make a sensational issue. Let’s  tease them ;)

then these pic are the salad. enjoy. LOL

having fun

that girl

envy. how hurt that feeling is ...

i'm envy with that girl. her life seems so amazing. she has boyfriend and many friends. i don't doubt. coz she is kind and pleasant. i guess her boyfriend loves her so much. what a perfect life. i wanna have a life like her.

nothing's special from her actually. she's just a simple girl like others. but something in her attract me. i don't know what is it exactly. maybe her simplicity makes her special. i don't have idea if people have the same opinion with me or not.

i confess i'm envy. she is good at socializing, beautiful, kind, helpful, loving, adorable. all people love her. including me.

i love to be myself whoever i am. i don't lose my self-confidence. but i can't hold not to envy with her. i run to my room. looked to the mirror. and started thinking what's special from me. i haven't found anything yet. just negative thoughts in my mind (i'm nothing compared to her. it's ridicules) i know nobody's perfect. although seems she's perfect. i believe that she has her weakness too. and me. definitely there is something special from me. although i'm careless, selfish, stubborn, lazy, pessimist, rebel, etc. i just haven't realize it. 

that girl gives me motivation indirectly. but i'm too selfish to take her as my role model. i prefer to fight with myself to show the world that i'm special, better than her. i sure i can. how stubborn right? it's me. SYLVIANITA!

i'll do my best in my life.

the latest story

today's joyanti's birthday. her 17th. this will be a very nice moment for her. so, enjoy it honeey :)

tonight, am going to go to her party. at lembur kuring :9 i have prepared my dress, bag, shoes and another accessories. not forget the present too. hope she likes it ya. just left this hair. don't know how to make it. ckck but it's not too important to think too much. the important one is we'll have fun tonight. waiting for 5PM ♥

yesterday mommy and sister went to visit doctor. mom had her body checked and my sister's tooth pulled out. ouchhhh :( i can't imagine how's the feel like. so scary. the bad news is mom plans to take me to the doctor and pull out my teeth too. coz when i patched my teeth, the previous doctor said there are some of my teeth that don't neat. how if the doctor said i must have wire teeth then? i'll not AGREE till i die. iyuuuiii.

i don't want to have wire teeth. so suffering. huhu i pray that mom will listen to me to stop this crazy plan. no need to pull out me teeth. moreover install wire teeth. my teeth isn't come out. just some of them grow don't neat. eventhough without wire teeth, i don't look ugly too.

wanna tell you readers. so bad recent. all unexpected things happened to me. this amazing life suddenly turn become a hell. am tired. i give all up to you, God. i'm just hope everything's gonna be okay :/

happy idul adha for those who celebrate it :)

jo's happy day ♥

亲爱的妈妈 ♥

dear beloved mommy,

mom, i'm sixteen now. i'm not your little girl anymore and i guess i have matured enough to decide all things by myself. i take the responsibility of all decisions i made. i can differentiate which one's wrong and which one's right. trust me :) 

you don't need to over-protective to me. it gets on my nerves. this is my life, mom. not yours. i'm your child. you may manage me whatever you want. but you should know. i have my own life. i have my world that you can't understand it. i want to learn all things by myself. face this world alone, standing on my foot, solve all problem with my own hands, wake up by myself when i fell, loving someone and all things i've never done by myself.

oh ya, wanna complain two things from you. i mind the way you complain about my weight. you nag me every time i'm so thin, like to choose foods to eat, doesn't want eat this-eat that. to tell you the truth,i don't wanna thin like this too. i tried to gain my weight. but feels like i can't fatter anymore. so, what should i do again?

and the other thing. you said i lose my appetite coz too busy of my laptop. i don't always touch my laptop yeah. i have course and school activities make me busy. i don't spend too much time for this laptop. except holiday or sunday. if you don't believe it. you may keep your eyes on me while touching this laptop. how long in one day. count it.

i know you love me so much so that you treat me like this. but really. i don't need it. i hope you can understand this well and not misunderstanding.

love you mom ♥♥ :* warmhug*

your daughter,

ling-ling王

happy day

i went to lunch together with valens, grace, and willy today while harris went to play futsal. after having lunch, we went to eat ice cream too :9 today was very pleasant. laughed and played jokes. how sweet the friendship are :)

then, after finished eating. we made a "juice". ahahaha the juice contents of tomato, vegetable, tissue, chili, emping*. and decorated by cucumber and tomato :9 yummmy. wanna try to drink it? but i don't take a responsibility if something happen with your stomach yeah. i wash my hands first. haha LOL this is the product of bkc* people like us. haha willy's the one who lead us become naughty like this :p he is so creative. such a great designer candidate. amen :)

luckily the waitress was not angry and scolded us. haha we sorry about it. but it was really funny. laugh a lot :D

here's the pic. just imagine how's the taste like. hahahaha LOL

happy lunch ♥ 

story of mine

hey readers :) whooooo. i miss blogging. but i don't know what thing i should post here actually. my life is just as usual recent. nothing's special. i feel my life now is so strange to me. weird. idk !?

well, i don't interested for talking about my life. so, just leave it. that unreasonable thought.

there are so many homeworks. today's list --> i have to do biology and summarize history bab 3. Omg! i hate this so much. doing unimportant homeworks. ckck homeworks consuming my time for reading comics :( i'll do them quickly and spare time for reading comics. Black Butler V has waited for me. yihaa :)

a little about that comic, Black Butler. i've just realized that Black Butler is a very nice comic. i love the story a lot. cool and amazing. am crazy about it. actually it's kind a boy comic. not like girl comic which tells about romantic love that i usually to read. but i like it more than girl comic.

the story haven't finished yet. the seri already till IX if i'm not mistaken. but haven't finished. we should wait for the next seri again. the bad news is that comic usually published in a long time. wait till the death! ck(!) just make people curious ==

alright. it's 2 P.M now. i wanna take a rest for a while then get ready to go to my course. thanks for reading, sweethearts ♡

oh ya, i wanna say something. i'm proud with har ♥

see yaa ;)

my daily

alone

i'm alone here. nobody's at home. mommy went to brastagi in the early of this morning. when i woke up, i didn't find mom anymore. mommy always wakes me up every morning. coz i can't wake up by using alarm. but this morning i must wake up using alarm. mommy's so worry we can't wake up and late to go to school or even can't go to school coz too late. so, she called home to make sure that we have woken up.

she went to brastagi to join the gathering of 1000 biksu over world that come to one of the temple in there.

without mom feels like my life's so messy. no one take care of me and this house. i have to open rantang, wash the dish after lunch and tidy my bed by myself. Omg! i don't do this usually. i need mom so much. and i miss her :( eventhough she go for just a day. but i have missed her. miss her nags too. i'm so spoiled. must be maturer. must! hehe

but i'm so lonely. sister has lab at school. so she will come back from school at the afternoon. alone. alone and alone. how sad. lunch alone, doing all things alone. 

plus that i'm confuse now. which place i'll go to celebrate halloween. my friend has invited me but eventhough i haven't asked permission from dad to go, i have known the answer. it'll be definitely NO :(

i don't wanna stay at home on the halloween. so pity :( 

comic, comic and comic. i'm reading comics again. wohooooo. alone at home reading comic while listening to music and napping. haha

life's still good eventhough alone at home :)

without mom :(