that girl

envy. how hurt that feeling is ...

i'm envy with that girl. her life seems so amazing. she has boyfriend and many friends. i don't doubt. coz she is kind and pleasant. i guess her boyfriend loves her so much. what a perfect life. i wanna have a life like her.

nothing's special from her actually. she's just a simple girl like others. but something in her attract me. i don't know what is it exactly. maybe her simplicity makes her special. i don't have idea if people have the same opinion with me or not.

i confess i'm envy. she is good at socializing, beautiful, kind, helpful, loving, adorable. all people love her. including me.

i love to be myself whoever i am. i don't lose my self-confidence. but i can't hold not to envy with her. i run to my room. looked to the mirror. and started thinking what's special from me. i haven't found anything yet. just negative thoughts in my mind (i'm nothing compared to her. it's ridicules) i know nobody's perfect. although seems she's perfect. i believe that she has her weakness too. and me. definitely there is something special from me. although i'm careless, selfish, stubborn, lazy, pessimist, rebel, etc. i just haven't realize it. 

that girl gives me motivation indirectly. but i'm too selfish to take her as my role model. i prefer to fight with myself to show the world that i'm special, better than her. i sure i can. how stubborn right? it's me. SYLVIANITA!

i'll do my best in my life.